Joke Thread


Sep 11, 2022
Tuttle, Oklahoma
It's time for a laugh

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,
"How will I know if they are pregnant?"
The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week. Both farmers were worn out.
The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife,
"Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
"Neither," yelled his wife. "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."

Las Palmas Norte

Feb 19, 2017
Vancouver Island, Canada
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' 😆


Jun 19, 2021
Johannesburg South Africa
Class is in session and Naughty Little Johnny raises is hand. What do you want Johnny asks the teacher. I need a Piss Miss he replies. The teacher reprimands him and says Johnny the phrase is I want to go for a Number 1. Jonny grins and starts to say. miss if I need a Sh.... but the teacher is quick to say then that is a Number 2.
Sometime later the teacher sees that little Susan's face is all puffed up and has turned Blue. What is wrong Susan the teacher asks and Johnny says " she wants to Fart but does not know the Code word " ..............