Joke Thread
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Syco
Squier-holic
DrBeGood
Dr. Squier
ScoobySnacker
Squier-holic
That's cold.
Syco
Squier-holic
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
True Story.
Yesterday whilst doing my job as a Tele beggar I phoned a company and this is what the recorded greeting message told me.
" Thank you for calling, our friendly receptionist will be with you shortly. Please stay on the line THE COURIER GUY WOULD LIKE TO HANDLE YOUR PACKAGE !.
I quickly put the phone down ...................
Yesterday whilst doing my job as a Tele beggar I phoned a company and this is what the recorded greeting message told me.
" Thank you for calling, our friendly receptionist will be with you shortly. Please stay on the line THE COURIER GUY WOULD LIKE TO HANDLE YOUR PACKAGE !.
I quickly put the phone down ...................
DrBeGood
Dr. Squier
You beg for Teles ? You're at the right place here.
DrBeGood
Dr. Squier
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
I got fired, again, from work at the pork & bean factory. I was putting them in upside down and customers got the hiccups.
Last week I was fired from the M&M factory for eating the "Ws".
Last week I was fired from the M&M factory for eating the "Ws".
Syco
Squier-holic
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
True Story.
Some time ago I was at a friends wedding.
Just before they announced the Bride and Groom's first waltz as a married couple his mates lined their chairs up at the side of the dance floor. As the couple approached they reached into their jackets and pulled out voting cards which were not very flattering ................
Some time ago I was at a friends wedding.
Just before they announced the Bride and Groom's first waltz as a married couple his mates lined their chairs up at the side of the dance floor. As the couple approached they reached into their jackets and pulled out voting cards which were not very flattering ................
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
A wife goes into the kitchen and finds her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
Killed any she asks ?
5 he replies, 3 males and 2 females.
How can you tell which sex they are she asks.
He says, 3 were on the Beer can and 2 were on the Phone ................
Killed any she asks ?
5 he replies, 3 males and 2 females.
How can you tell which sex they are she asks.
He says, 3 were on the Beer can and 2 were on the Phone ................
OOMTOM
Squier-holic
When your friends say Enjoy them whilst you are young they are talking about your Hips and Knees not your Children ...........
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
Loin Lover
Dr. Squier
Syco
Squier-holic
DrBeGood
Dr. Squier
5 Things I've Learned (So Far) From John Wick Movies:
1. Assassins are everywhere. There is probably at least one living in YOUR neighborhood. In NYC, that number is greater.
2. Assassins seemingly only kill other assassins or people engaged in criminal activities. This is a relief for bystanders.
3. Assassins operate above the law. They are free to kill and maim and engage in deadly car chases out in the open without fearing the police will arrest them. Probably because of lesson # 2.
4. Everything costs a gold coin. A gun costs a gold coin. Three nights at the Continental cost a gold coin. A drink at the Continental costs a gold coin. Dead body removal costs a gold coin per body. A new suit costs a gold coin. Etc. No one gives you change when you buy something with a gold coin.
5. Don't mess with someone's puppy or classic muscle car. They could be owned by assassins. See lesson # 1.
1. Assassins are everywhere. There is probably at least one living in YOUR neighborhood. In NYC, that number is greater.
2. Assassins seemingly only kill other assassins or people engaged in criminal activities. This is a relief for bystanders.
3. Assassins operate above the law. They are free to kill and maim and engage in deadly car chases out in the open without fearing the police will arrest them. Probably because of lesson # 2.
4. Everything costs a gold coin. A gun costs a gold coin. Three nights at the Continental cost a gold coin. A drink at the Continental costs a gold coin. Dead body removal costs a gold coin per body. A new suit costs a gold coin. Etc. No one gives you change when you buy something with a gold coin.
5. Don't mess with someone's puppy or classic muscle car. They could be owned by assassins. See lesson # 1.
DrBeGood
Dr. Squier
Can't stand Keanu Reeves in any role he plays. What . a . bad . actor.
