Joke Thread

OOMTOM

Squier-holic
Jun 19, 2021
1,584
Johannesburg South Africa
A Farmers wife says to her husband we are not getting many Chicks from the Chickens and the egg yield is not what it used to be. I think the Rooster is now to old and not getting the Job done.
Ok says the Farmer I am off to the market and I will get a new Young Vibrant Cockerel.
When he returns he puts the new youngster into the hen house.
The old Cockerel sees the new guy and knows his days are numbered. He challenges the youngster to a foot race across the farmyard but because of his age he wants a 10 metre start. The youngster says no problem old man.
Just after the race starts the Farmer witnesses the Old Cockerel being hotly pursued by his new purchase, he levels his shotgun and shoots dead the youngster.
His wife who saw the shot asks him why did you do that.
The Farmer says " I paid top dollar for him and he turns out to be Homosexual " ...............
 

BlueSquirrel

Squier-holic
Dec 21, 2018
2,911
France
An extract from an actual news article (from local newspaper Sud Ouest) :

"Joke from a scientist

French scientist Étienne Klein admitted that the picture of Proxima Centauri that he had posted on Twitter saying that it "had been taken by the James Webb Space telescope" was, in fact, a slice of chorizo from his own fridge".

TchzK2IP.jpeg.jpg 😋
 
Last edited:

OOMTOM

Squier-holic
Jun 19, 2021
1,584
Johannesburg South Africa
An elderly lady arrives at the Train Station to find there is a Ten Minute delay. To pass the time she wanders around and comes across a Speaking Weight Machine. She steps on the scale and the machine says " you weigh 47kgs and need to use the Ladies Bathroom ".
She steps off and sure enough the call of nature needs to be obeyed.
When she returns she again steps on to the Scale and the machine says " you still weigh 47kgs and in twenty seconds you will Break Wind ". She steps off and proceeds to leave when Phrumphhhh.
Curious she steps on to the scale for the third time. The machine says " you still weigh 47kgs and with all this Pissin and Farting around you missed your Train "...............
 


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