Joke Thread

miket1117

Squier-holic
Gold Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2018
2,754
Kansas City
I was visiting my son the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

“Dad, this is the 21st century,” he said. “I don’t waste my money on newspapers. But if you like, you can borrow my iPad.”

I can tell you this: That spider never knew what hit him.
 

Lanaka

Squier-holic
Feb 11, 2020
2,512
Honolulu, HI
I was visiting my son the other night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.

“Dad, this is the 21st century,” he said. “I don’t waste my money on newspapers. But if you like, you can borrow my iPad.”

I can tell you this: That spider never knew what hit him.

LOL, that's one thing I'd love see what yer son's reaction when that happened. 🤪😆😁👍

In Hawai'i, we just use the ubiquitous slippahs (flip-flops to ye guys in the Mainland).

Ey, I like borrow da slippah.

Wat, get one kakaros? (cockroaches)

Yaah, I get one here!

Ok here ya go. Go get um!

*WHAM!*

EEEW, grooooss!!!
 

miket1117

Squier-holic
Gold Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2018
2,754
Kansas City
LOL, that's one thing I'd love see what yer son's reaction when that happened. 🤪😆😁👍

In Hawai'i, we just use the ubiquitous slippahs (flip-flops to ye guys in the Mainland).

Ey, I like borrow da slippah.

Wat, get one kakaros? (cockroaches)

Yaah, I get one here!

Ok here ya go. Go get um!

*WHAM!*

EEEW, grooooss!!!
i've seen cockroaches in Hawai'i. better be a big slippah!
 

jamesgpobog

Squier-holic
Feb 18, 2020
3,138
SoCal
So the Pope is in his office at the Vatican doing Pope stuff, and one of the Cardinals of his staff enters somewhat excited and says "Your Grace! I have good news and bad news! It's happened! He's back! Jesus has returned!!" The Pope says "Oh! That's wonderful! It's what we've been waiting for for over 2000 years!!!.....Um....what's the bad news?" The Cardinal responds....

"He's calling from Salt Lake City."
 

jamesgpobog

Squier-holic
Feb 18, 2020
3,138
SoCal
The pic below is in the 'Back Bay' of Newport Beach, CA.Center is a restaurant and boat ramp. (The coast and bay is out in the direction of 7 o'clock)

The restaurant was rebuilt and expanded a number of years ago (pic), but before that it was a little burger stand/greasy spoon cafe type place where you could get a beer.The deck area where you see sunlit concrete had some chairs, tables, and benches that faced the boat ramp. It was a well kept secret and locals would sit there, drink beer and watch the boat ramp show.

It had the reputation as the best (by far) free show in Orange County.

1656863729693.png
 

miket1117

Squier-holic
Gold Supporting Member
Mar 31, 2018
2,754
Kansas City
Somewhere in this very long thread there have to be Chuck Norris jokes. Time to revisit some:

If someone tells a Chuck Norris joke in the woods and he's not around to hear it, will that person still die at the hands of Chuck? Yes. Chuck Norris hears everything.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun. And won.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. 🤣

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because he will never submit.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with is teeth, and boils his water with his rage.

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, it's just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life.
 


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